“Yesterday, the White House confirmed that President Obama will meet with Pope Francis during his visit in September. Some experts are wondering if they’ll discuss their disagreement over contraception. Then Joe Biden said, ‘I didn’t even know they were dating.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Yeah, the president will meet with Pope Francis at the White House in September. The two will meet for about an hour or so, and then the Pope will spend the rest of the day hearing confessions from Secret Service agents.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Republican candidate Ted Cruz said recently that in the 36 hours after he announced that he’s running for president, he’s raised over a million dollars. And Hillary Clinton closed her checkbook and said, ‘Happy to help. Can’t wait.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Ted Cruz raised over a million dollars after announcing that he’s running for president. Which is why today RadioShack announced that it is also running for president.” – Jimmy Fallon
