Political Irony

“Another scandal for Hillary Clinton — they’re saying she used a private email address when she was secretary of state, which means the government couldn’t archive and preserve her emails. Then Obama said, ‘Don’t worry, we saw them. We see everyone’s emails.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Hillary Clinton used a private email account to conduct official state business. Experts say that if this violates any federal rules, then she … will still be president.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Jeb Bush is getting his presidential campaign in gear. Last week he said he supports a path to citizenship for immigrants. He said, ‘I believe in an America where hard work and dedication can lead to any job that your brother and dad once had.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu gave a speech to Congress. It aired in Israel with a five-minute delay. Israelis had to wait five minutes to hear what their president was saying, or as Americans call that, watching Obama live. ‘Every speech … I make … takes … three hours.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Today during his speech in Washington, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu repeatedly referred to Congress as ‘my friends’. It was a move that had many in Congress Googling the word ‘friend’.” – Seth Meyers

“Nancy Pelosi said she was ‘near tears’ during the prime minister’s speech to Congress because it insulted America’s intelligence. So please, nobody tell Nancy Pelosi about ‘The Bachelor’.” – Seth Meyers

“President Obama said he wants the United States to establish an embassy in Cuba by April. When asked if Cuba would establish an embassy here, Obama said, ‘What do you call Miami?'” – Jimmy Fallon

“A DEA agent is speaking out against edible marijuana. He said it could lead to a lot of stoned rabbits. He says rabbits will eat the pot that is grown at marijuana farms and start following the band phish around the country.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Joe Biden will speak to the nation’s largest gay rights group during a human rights convention on Friday. Then on Saturday, he is scheduled to speak to them again to apologize for whatever he said in Friday’s speech.” – Jimmy Fallon