Political Irony

“A political action committee trying to raise money for a 2016 Hillary Clinton campaign is selling “Ready for Hillary” champagne glasses and Christmas ornaments. Because if one thing improves the holidays, it’s drinking mixed with politics.” – Jimmy Fallon

“In Washington, the U.S. House passed a bill unanimously. Every single member of both parties voted for it. What was it? To deny Social Security benefits to Nazis. So from now on, no SS for the SS.” – Craig Ferguson

“I saw that on Small Business Saturday, the president went shopping at a bookstore and bought 17 books, including ‘The Laughing Monsters’, ‘Being Mortal’, and ‘Heart of Darkness’. Or as the cashier put it, “You OK, man? Maybe a little ‘Chicken Soup for the Presidential Soul’?” – Jimmy Fallon

“There are reports that President Obama has finally found a nominee to replace Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel. His nominee is named Ashton Carter. Which sounds less like a defense secretary and more like the member of a boy band.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Iran may have attacked ISIS. Do you know how long it’s been since I have been able to wear my “Go Iran” T-shirt?” – Conan O’Brien

“The rain is giving much needed relief to California’s crops. By that I mean ‘marijuana’.” – Craig Ferguson

“Vladimir Putin bribed a soccer official with a Picasso painting so he would support Russia’s bid to host the 2018 World Cup. Putin was like, ‘It wasn’t Picasso, just picture of what his face would look like if he said no.’ (Nose over here, eye up here, ear in forehead.)” – Jimmy Fallon