“Congratulations to Chelsea Clinton, who gave birth to a baby girl named Charlotte on Friday. Or as Hillary described the baby, ‘Third in line to the throne’.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Congratulations to Chelsea Clinton. Over the weekend, she gave birth to a baby girl. The baby girl will not confirm or deny whether she’s running in 2056.” – David Letterman
“Chelsea Clinton gave birth to a baby girl. And get this, she’s already said her first word: ‘Iowa’.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Chelsea Clinton gave birth to a daughter named Charlotte this weekend. Hillary Clinton was really excited until she remembered that you have to be 18 to vote.” – Seth Meyers
“North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un has not appeared in public for weeks. There are rumors he’s sick due to too much cheese, fried chicken, and beer. Sounds like someone is applying for American citizenship.” – Conan O’Brien
“Evil dictator Kim Jong Un has not been seen in three weeks. I hate it when a recluse disappears, don’t you?” – David Letterman
“Kim Jong Un didn’t even show up at Clooney’s wedding.” – David Letterman
