“Prince William and his bride are expecting her second baby. That’s pretty quick for Kate to have a second baby. It’s almost as if producing an heir is her job.” – Craig Ferguson
“The royal couple had to keep Kate’s pregnancy secret from the rest of the royal family. And that’s not easy because Prince Charles is all ears.” – Craig Ferguson
“Apple announced the iPhone 6 today, which they say has a more durable screen that won’t crack or scratch as easily. Or as your kids put it, ‘Challenge accepted!’ Apple promised less cracking. Then Toronto Mayor Rob Ford said, ‘Hey, that’s my campaign slogan.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Mike Tyson, for reasons unknown, stopped by City Hall to meet with Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. Mike Tyson and Rob Ford — what could possibly go right?” –Jimmy Kimmel
