“You know where it’s bad now? Iraq. It was bad and now it’s getting worse. Today President Obama said he might have to send in Dennis Rodman.” – David Letterman
“Iraq is so bad that President Obama phoned Hillary Clinton and asked her if she could start early.” – David Letterman
“The Smithsonian unveiled a 3-D printed sculpture of President Obama that is detailed enough to see his pores and wrinkles. The sculpture is so realistic that Joe Biden won’t leave it alone.” – Seth Meyers
“A Canadian woman was arrested for having an open container of liquor while driving Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s SUV. Although when Rob Ford’s in the car, anyone not smoking crack is legally considered a designated driver.” – Seth Meyers
