“L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling was recorded telling his girlfriend not to hang out with black people. Some people are actually defending Sterling, saying he has a very good record of hiring minorities. For instance, he always has at least one white guy on the team.” – Jimmy Fallon
“The L.A. Clippers protested their owner’s racist remarks by wearing their uniforms inside-out. Meanwhile, the L.A. Lakers have been wearing their uniforms inside-out so no one would know they play for the Lakers.” – Conan O’Brien
“Clippers owner Donald Sterling is in trouble for making racist remarks. It must be terribly embarrassing for this guy, you know, to be identified as the owner of the Clippers.” – David Letterman
“Donald Sterling, owner of the L.A. Clippers, got caught on tape allegedly spewing vial racist hate to his mistress. You know it’s bad when you get caught on tape with your mistress and it’s what you said that’s the problem.” – Craig Ferguson
“Here in L.A., Donald Sterling, the owner of the Clippers, has been caught on tape making racist remarks. After the audio was released, the NAACP decided not to honor Sterling with a second lifetime achievement award. Instead, they’re giving him ‘The Reason We Still Need an NAACP’ award.” – Conan O’Brien
“Clippers owner Donald Sterling was caught on tape saying racist things to a woman. The NAACP was set to give him a second lifetime achievement award but rescinded the honor. I think that’s a mistake. I think he should be forced to show up and accept the NAACP award.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Today Donald Trump called Sterling’s remarks disgusting and his girlfriend a terrible human being. Then Trump said, ‘And that’s why I’ve invited them both to join the next season of ‘Celebrity Apprentice’.” – Conan O’Brien
“Right now every NBA fan here in Los Angeles knows there’s a dark, ugly cloud of shame hanging over the Staples Center. But enough about the Lakers. There’s also the Sterling thing.” – Craig Ferguson
“Everyone agrees that Sterling should be forced to sell the team. I have a solution. I will buy the team. Donald Sterling, I will give you $5,000 in cash. Do with it whatever you want. Give it to the NAACP. Maybe they’ll give you another award.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“I would be proud to take the reins of what once was and again will be the worst, most miserable franchise in all of sports.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“President Obama is calling Donald Sterling’s racist remarks ‘incredibly offensive.’ And you know it’s bad when even Vladimir Putin says, ‘I hate to say it, but I am with Obama on this one’.” – Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama was asked if he would save Vladimir Putin if Putin were drowning. Obama said, ‘Yeah, I would save Putin. I would save anyone except Donald Sterling.'” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Pope Francis today tweeted to his 4 million Twitter followers, ‘Inequality is the root of social evil.’ So it looks like he’s giving away his season tickets to the Clippers.” – Seth Meyers
“George Clooney is engaged. You can tell he’s excited to get married because he’s been throwing himself a bachelor party for the last 20 years.” – Jimmy Fallon
“German Chancellor Angela Merkel will travel to the U.S. next month to talk with President Obama about the situation in Ukraine. And to try to get Clooney to change his mind.” – Jimmy Fallon
“A woman claiming to be Hitler’s maid said that he pretended to adhere to a healthy diet but actually had an insatiable sweet tooth. I knew if we waited long enough, we’d eventually find some dirt on that guy.” – Seth Meyers
“Spanish scientists say they have discovered the oldest reproduction of Jesus Christ. It’s a selfie he took with Larry King.” – Conan O’Brien
