“NSA leaker Edward Snowden somehow managed to get out of the U.S. with all their information. Now where is he? He’s in Russia now, going to be in Ecuador or wherever. He remains at large. Now what are the odds out of 350 million Americans, the only one the government wasn’t watching was him?” – Jay Leno
“No one knows exactly where NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden is hiding at the moment. He released a statement that says, ‘No one will find me unless some big-mouth jerk starts blabbing’.” – Conan O’Brien
“The NSA says they have developed a robotic bird that looks and flies like a bird to use for surveillance. So if you see a bird outside your window tweeting with a BlackBerry, it’s spying on you.” – Jay Leno
“In the middle of all these scandals, President Obama got some good news today. The IRS ruled that he can write off the first half of his second term as a total loss.” – Jay Leno
“President Obama gave a big speech on climate change. He believes global warming is getting worse because apparently he’s sweating a lot more during his second term.” – Jay Leno
“In an interview, Pat Buchanan predicted that the inflow of Hispanics from the immigration bill will break the U.S. into two countries with different cultures and different languages. Of course, as a resident of Los Angeles, I can’t imagine what that would be like.” – Jay Leno
