Political Irony

“Last night the White House staff played softball against a team made of marijuana lobbyists. Which explains why there were 20 hits before the game even started.” – Jimmy Fallon

“The on-deck circle was a drum circle.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Did you see the pictures of Obama and Putin at the G-8 summit? It was like Thanksgiving with your relatives.” – David Letterman

“See, the problem there is they have nothing to say to one another because they’ve been bugging each other’s phones.” – David Letterman

“Are you aware of the fact that Vladimir Putin stole a Super Bowl ring from the owner of the Patriots? Listen to this: Today he stole Ricki Lake’s daytime Emmy. The guy’s whacko.” – David Letterman

“Bad day on Wall Street – the stock market dropped over 350 points today. See, I knew Obama shouldn’t have come back home. I knew this was going to happen.” – Jay Leno

“During the summer all scandals will be reruns. That’s a programming reminder from the White House.” – David Letterman

“Yesterday the FBI admitted they do use drones on U.S. soil for domestic surveillance. The FBI’s Robert Mueller told Congress that he does sometimes use drones, but he said the good news is that these drones are made in America, by Americans, to spy on Americans.” – Jay Leno

“Fashion designers Dolce & Gabbana have been sentenced to 20 months in jail for tax evasion. Their lawyers are appealing the sentence while Dolce & Gabbana are appealing the prison uniform. Orange is so last year.” – Jimmy Fallon

“That’s right. Dolce & Gabbana were convicted of tax evasion. It didn’t help when the judge asked how they pled, and they were like ‘Fabulous?'” – Jimmy Fallon