“A lot of people are criticizing President Obama, including Michelle Obama. She recently said she could take a whole afternoon and talk about Barack’s failures. She was immediately hired by Fox News.” – Conan O’Brien
“Michelle Obama gave a commencement at a high school in Nashville. The first lady said about her husband, ‘I could take up a whole afternoon talking about his failures.’ And today she was offered her own show on Fox News.” – Jay Leno
“The White House admitted President Obama’s chief of staff had advance warning that the IRS was targeting conservative groups. President Obama says the first time he heard about the IRS and AP scandals was from the media. See, that’s why President Obama holds press conferences. It’s not to explain what’s going on. It’s to find out what’s going on.” – Jay Leno
“These scandals at the White House are just getting worse. It turns out that President Obama’s chief of staff knew about the scandal at the IRS three weeks before the president found out. Obama was like, ‘Anything else you guys aren’t telling me?’ And Joe Biden was like, ‘Uh … I broke the copier’.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Singer Mary J. Blige has been slapped with a $3.4 million bill from the IRS. I didn’t even know she was a tea party member.” – Jay Leno
“President Obama’s team knew about the IRS scandal but kept him in the dark about it. Or as Obama put it, ‘Guys, when I said ‘no spoilers’, I was just talking about ‘Game of Thrones’.” – Jimmy Fallon
“I feel bad for Barack Obama. He’s got the Benghazi scandal, the IRS scandal, and the FBI wiretapping phones. The president is in so much trouble politically, he’s thinking about killing bin Laden again.” – David Letterman
“President Obama gave the commencement address at Morehouse College over the weekend. Great speech, very inspiring. He told the young graduates their future is bright – unless, of course, they want jobs.” – Jay Leno
“According to a new survey, white Americans are more likely to see President Obama as angry than black Americans. After hearing about it, Obama got really angry – according to white Americans.” – Conan O’Brien
“Arnold Schwarzenegger has announced he will star in a low-budget horror movie called ‘The Toxic Avenger’. He wreaks havoc. He’s a monster. I have no idea what he’ll do in the movie.” – Craig Ferguson
