“Today the White House unveiled its latest high-tech weapon: the IRS audit.” – Jay Leno
“Did you hear about this? The IRS has admitted they were targeting conservative groups. President Obama called it outrageous and said he would immediately have his Benghazi investigators look into it.” – Jay Leno
“I love what IRS commissioner Steve Miller said today about this whole targeting conservative groups thing. He said, ‘Mistakes were made, but they were in no way made with a political or partisan motivation.’ Yeah, ‘Mistakes were made’ – try saying THAT during your next IRS audit.” – Jay Leno
“It was just revealed that the Department of Justice secretly recorded the phone calls of AP journalists for two months. Obama promised reporters that the incident will be immediately investigated – by the Department of Justice.” – Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama’s right in the middle of three scandals. The IRS ratting out people it doesn’t like. Benghazi, number two. And they say Obama has been phone tapping the AP. So three big scandals. Here’s what I prefer: Weiner and Spitzer. Now those are scandals my writers can really work with.” – David Letterman
“First it was Benghazi, then the IRS scandal, and now this phone records scandal. Remember the old days when President Obama’s biggest embarrassment was Joe Biden? What happened to those days?” – Jay Leno
“Some Republicans are saying that due to his current scandals, President Obama should be impeached. In response, Obama laughed and said, ‘Two words fellas: President Biden.'” – Conan O’Brien
“The heat wave is continuing. There are warnings this could be a long, hot summer and they are telling everyone to cover up. Believe me. You don’t have to tell the Obama White House twice. They know all about covering up.” – Jay Leno
“The founder of Spanx announced that she is giving away half of her fortune to charity. She told her family, ‘We’ll be fine. Things are just going to get a little tighter.” – Jimmy Fallon
