“During a fundraiser, President Obama raised some eyebrows when he called California’s Kamala Harris, quote, ‘the best-looking attorney general in the country’. Of course he said it was just a joke. Then Michelle was like, ‘Well, here’s another one: What’s black and white and sleeps on the couch?'” – Jimmy Fallon
“While at a fundraiser, President Obama called California’s attorney general, Kamala Harris, ‘the best-looking attorney general ever’. After the comment, the Secret Service added extra security to protect the president from first lady Michelle.” – Jay Leno
“President Obama said that Kamala Harris is the best-looking attorney general while at a fundraiser. So hopefully, that fundraiser was to buy a really nice necklace for Michelle.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Today the president apologized for those remarks. And of course he had to apologize to Vice President Joe Biden because it’s Joe’s job to say stupid stuff that embarrasses the White House.” – Jay Leno
“We have a guy here in New York City who wanted to be mayor so he’s trying to bribe his way on to the ballot, laying out big, big money. And the scandal involves three Republicans and two Democrats. Finally, some bipartisanship!” – David Letterman
“North Korea has the same ability to launch a nuclear strike against America as I do. It’s like walking through a parking lot and getting barked at by a chihuahua locked in a car.” – Bill Maher
“Everybody’s excited about college basketball’s tournament. You know who is a big fan of the Syracuse Orangemen? John Boehner.” – David Letterman
