“Already the Obama administration has been rocked by scandal. Beyonce lip-syncing; or at least we think she was lip-synching. Manti Te’o said it sounded very real to him.” – Bill Maher
“Lip-synching – let that be a lesson; if you are in Washington DC and you open your mouth and another voice comes out, it better be the NRA, an oil company, or a bank.” – Bill Maher
“President Obama delivered his inaugural address, which set a more liberal tone for his second term, especially the part where he showered the crowd with birth control pills.” – Seth Meyers
“New Rule: The media must give President Obama a few more days before they start covering the 2016 presidential race. They’re already speculating about Biden and Hillary. Come on, even Taylor Swift gives a guy a little more time than that. And why is she America’s sweetheart? She’s 17 and she’s gone out with more men than Joan Crawford.” – Bill Maher
“This year marks the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King, Jr’s historic ‘I Have A Dream’ speech. As well as the 1 year anniversary of my girlfriend’s ‘I had the weirdest dream’ speech. Guess which one was longer.” – Seth Meyers
“The Pentagon lifted the ban this week on women being able to serve. Yes, women can now serve in front line combat positions, proving that women will follow gay men anywhere.” – Bill Maher
“Tom Tancredo, who was a congressman from Colorado and ran for president, made a bet that his state would not legalize marijuana. And of course, he lost that bet. And you know what he has to do because he lost that bet? Yes, he’s got a suck on a joint. I just hope in the next few years he loses a bet on gay marriage.” – Bill Maher
“New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is getting big-time financial support for his re-election campaign, a fundraiser hosted by Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg. That means the creator of the world’s largest social network is raising money for the world’s largest governor.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Why does Mark Zuckerberg need to raise a fundraiser worth $12 billion. Write a check and be done with the whole thing.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Did you know when you poke Chris Christie on Facebook, your computer giggles like the Pillsbury Doughboy?” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Gov. Bobby Jindal of Louisiana said ‘we must stop being the stupid party’. Good luck with that. When Sarah Palin heard that, she demanded an apology. She said, ‘How dare he insult hard-working, patriotic, idiotic Americans like me’.” – Bill Maher
3 Comments
As someone more liberal than 99% of American liberals, I buy your rationale for including the Jay Leno quotes–he’s ultra-mainstream and lowest common denominator, I get it. But I still turn up my nose and ignore the Bill Maher quotes–that guy’s a sophomoric, Playboy Mansion-attending, anti-intellectual, non-mainstream, unfunny goober. So please don’t do any extra work to include him; he is of no use to me in my quest to liberalize the right wingers in this country.
Occasionally Maher’s polemics are both amusing and spot on. If you include Leno for color I don’t see how you can leave Maher out.
Interestingly, I agree with both of you. In general, Maher actually annoys me more than Leno does. I think the issue is that it is easier to dismiss Leno, since he is clearly not very progressive (nor very clever). But to have someone like Maher, who is supposedly representing smart progressives, saying some of the things he does is far more annoying! Well, as they say, only liberals eat their own people.
But I think both Leno and Maher have their moments. Occasionally, both of them say things that nobody else could say.