“House Speaker John Boehner said that President Obama’s focus is to annihilate the Republican Party. Do Republicans look like they need any help from President Obama? They’re doing a hell of a job themselves.” – Jay Leno
“The Pentagon has allowed women to serve in combat. Yeah, the hope is that we can now finally defeat the Taliban by giving them the silent treatment.” – Conan O’Brien
“Women can now serve on the front lines in combat. I believe up until now, the only woman who had ever seen action under a general was of course Paula Broadwell.” – Jay Leno
“Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was grilled by Congressmen about the attack on Benghazi. Then out of habit she grilled them about where they were last night, and who’s this Megan?” – Conan O’Brien
“A scary moment at John Kerry’s secretary of state confirmation hearing. One of the senators had taken his Ambien the night before and combined with the stuffy room and Kerry’s boring speech, he slipped into a coma.” – Jay Leno
“North Korea said it will test a rocket that they hope will hit the United States. In other words, watch your back, middle of the Pacific Ocean.” – Conan O’Brien
