“The apartment President Obama used to live in when he was a college student is now up for rent. It’s $2,400 a month, which is a bargain when you consider how much money Mitt Romney is spending to try and move into where Obama is living now.” – Jay Leno
“It’s now being reported than Mitt Romney’s campaign brought in 200 African American supporters to help cheer him on when he spoke at the NAACP meeting. And it cost him a lot of money because he had to fly them in from the Cayman Islands.” – Jay Leno
“The country’s largest Tea Party group is planning a cross-country bus tour to help elect Mitt Romney. Romney was like, ‘Wow, that’s great. What is a bus?'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Congresswoman Michele Bachmann wants an investigation as to whether Islamists have infiltrated the highest levels of the federal government. You know what’s really frightening? After listening to Michele Bachmann, you realize idiots have infiltrated the highest levels of the federal government.” – Jay Leno
“The Boy Scouts of America have announced they are upholding their ban on gay members. The Boy Scouts are so serious about this gay ban, that you’re not allowed to pitch a tent if a girl is nearby.” – Jay Leno
