“Mitt Romney gave a speech at the annual NAACP conference in Houston. Why, I don’t know. Maybe he confused NAACP with NASCAR.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“The event got off to a bad start when Romney pulled up in front of the convention center and he instinctively locked the doors to his limo.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Mitt Romney told the crowd at an NAACP conference that if he were elected president he would fight for all millionaires, black or white.” – Jay Leno
“Romney isn’t very popular among African-American voters. In fact, diabetes is more popular among African-American voters than Mitt Romney.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“In Mexico, the loser of their presidential election is accusing the winner of election fraud. He says the winner bought millions of votes. To which Mitt Romney said, ‘You can do that?'” – Jay Leno
“The American League was defeated 8-0. The American League also lost the 2011 All-Star Game as well as the 2010 All-Star Game. Under President Obama, America’s own league is on a losing streak. Mitt Romney will fix the American League and make it competitive again.” – David Letterman
“At a Democratic fundraiser in Seattle earlier this week, Vice President Biden said that Romney’s economic policies were ‘George Bush on steroids’ – as opposed to Obama’s policies, which are ‘Jimmy Carter on Ambien.'” – Jay Leno
“The White House is now urging Americans not to ‘read too much’ into last week’s jobs report. In fact, they said it would be best if you didn’t read it at all.” – Jay Leno
