“Regular guy Mitt Romney is on a bus tour…he’s on a bus through the Midwest called ‘Believe in America’ because ‘Mormon Thunder’ was taken.” – Bill Maher
“Do you know the difference between a Mitt Romney bus and Mitt Romney car? The bus has a greyhound on the side.” – Bill Maher
“Republicans Yesterday launched a new Spanish-language website to attract Latino voters, featuring smiling, happy Latino children — except it turned out they weren’t Latino children, they were Asian. Even worse, when you go to the button to click onto the home page, it says, ‘Enter around back.'” – Bill Maher
“Mitt Romney said Obama is ignoring the real issues with illegals, which is that they keep blowing the grass clippings into his pool.” – Bill Maher
“Both Romney and Obama were in Ohio giving dueling speeches on the economy. Before Obama’s speech, Romney’s bus starts circling the Obama site honking their horns in the parking lot. They would have actually stayed and done it longer, but Mitt had to get back to his site to give his speech about how we need to put the grownups back in charge.” – Bill Maher
“This really was the campaign in a nutshell. Talk about two divergent messages. They were doing this on the same day in the same state. Obama said, ‘The Republicans drove the economy into the ditch and now I’m trying to drive it out.’ And Romney said, ‘Look, a black guy’s stealing our car!” – Bill Maher
“Obama went to Ground Zero. He went up in the new skyscraper being built in the shadow of the World Trade Center, and he inscribed one of the steel beams. He wrote, ‘We remember, we rebuild, we come back stronger.’ Which was very poignant, especially since Bush had written on it, ‘We got hit, I sat in a chair, I peed my pants.’ And he misspelled chair.” – Bill Maher
“Obama has been to more fundraisers already than the last six presidents combined. He had one in New York the other day at Sarah Jessica Parker’s apartment, and the Republicans of course say, ‘This proves that Obama is an elitist who hangs out with the Hollywood types. What about the real Americans, like Donald Trump?'” – Bill Maher
“There’s a rumor going around that suggests President Obama may legalize marijuana as an October surprise to win the election. And if he doesn’t win, at least he’ll have a way to mellow out later.” – Jay Leno
