Political Irony

“Yesterday was Earth Day, and apparently today is Find Out Yesterday Was Earth Day Day.” – Conan O’Brien

“They estimate that a billion people participated in Earth Day activities. Then they all went back to driving their SUVs to the gym.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“In conjunction with Earth Day, the Dutch electronics company Philips released a revolutionary new light bulb designed to last 20 years. Do you think when the guy thought of this, a light bulb went off over his head?” – Jimmy Kimmel

“I’m enjoying this Secret Service scandal. It turned out to be a frisking that got out of control.” – David Letterman

“Congress is expanding its probe into the Secret Service scandal. Congressmen want to know how this could happen, who was responsible, and do those ladies take Discover cards.” – Conan O’Brien

“One of the Secret Service agents had this woman, and the deal was $300 and he gave her $30. I’m thinking, now wait a minute. I’ve got no problem with a guy trying to save taxpayer dollars.” – David Letterman

“These are jobs that should’ve gone to American hookers.” – David Letterman

“President Obama is proposing to keep student loans cheap as a way to appeal to college students. And if that doesn’t work, Obama’s going to resort to his second proposal, ‘free pizza in my room.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Mitt Romney has launched a new drive to appeal to Hispanic voters. Unfortunately, his new slogan is ‘Mitt Romney — I probably employ one of your cousins.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Newt Gingrich’s campaign is something like $5 million in debt. He is now so broke he’s no longer attacking the poor because he is one.” – Jay Leno