Political Irony

“I saw the worst reality show last night. Have you seen this one? It’s called “the Republican Debate.’” – Jay Leno

“All these GOP debates. They had debates with podiums, debates with chairs, a table, bunk beds. Now the next one is going to be in black and white and silent.” – David Letterman

“The debate was on CNN. You know who the big winner was? “American Idol” on Fox.” – Jay Leno

“Rick Santorum is claiming that Mitt Romney and Ron Paul have teamed up against him. Which is kind of ironic — that Santorum can be brought down by two men forming a civil union.” – Jay Leno

“I believe that corporations should be afforded all the rights of human beings: right to free speech, the right to bear arms, right to get married — I mean, not gay married — heterosexual.” –Stephen Colbert

“President Obama said he understands that rising prices are making people worried and fearful. Especially in his re-election campaign. They’re really fearful.” – Jay Leno

“As bad as gas prices are here, the situation is worse in Europe. I’ll tell you why. Because every time Europeans fill up their tank, they expose their unshaven armpits, releasing deadly toxic gases.” – Craig Ferguson

“I think we’re going to be seeing more hybrid cars. The Prius is known as a hybrid because it can run on either electricity or the smugness of the owner.” – Craig Ferguson

“The North Korean news agency reports that birds and pandas are sobbing and moaning over beloved leader Kim Jong Il’s death. Wait! Is it possible they’re sobbing and moaning because they live in North Korea?” – David Letterman