“If you think about it in certain terms, Obama has had a good year. First bin Laden, then Moammar Gadhafi. Next, Robert Wagner.” – David Letterman
“It looks like the supercommittee chosen by President Obama to come up with a plan to solve the deficit has failed. The best idea they came up with? A bake sale.” – Jay Leno
“Don’t worry, President Obama has announced a new plan. Next week, he’s appointing a super duper committee.” – Jay Leno
“President Obama came home after a 9-day trip to Asia. Well, he got to see some stuff he never sees at home, like jobs.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Newt Gingrich says he wants to get rid of Social Security. Who is more qualified to give this country financial advice than a guy who ran up a half-million dollar bill at Tiffany?” – David Letterman
“I’m not sure Rick Perry understands Thanksgiving. When they asked him if he was going to deep-fry a turkey, he said, ‘Well, if he’s found guilty.'” – Jay Leno
“Last week in New Hampshire, Herman Cain said that presidents don’t need to know every detail of every country in the world and he said he’s going to take that message across America to all 30 states.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Cain said that we should focus on our neighbor to the south, Mexico, and our neighbor to the north, Cold Mexico.” – Jimmy Fallon
