“Rick Perry announced today to satisfy environmentalists he is now using solar power. And this is brilliant thinking, using solar power to run the Texas electric chair.” – David Letterman
“I read that Texas Gov. Rick Perry has challenged Nancy Pelosi to a debate. Yeah, Perry got the idea when he was like, ‘I can’t remember. Am I good or bad at debates?'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Rick Perry attacked President Obama for thinking that he’s the smartest guy in the room. He attacked him for being smart. One thing’s for sure, nobody’s ever going to accuse Rick Perry of that.” – Jay Leno
“Happy Birthday to Vice President Biden, who turns 69 this weekend! When they saw him coming, White House staffers turned off the lights, hid behind the couch, and then waited for him to leave.” – Jimmy Fallon
“A Fox News reporter asked Herman Cain what he thought of President Obama’s easing of travel restrictions to Cuba, and Cain accused him of asking a ‘gotcha’ question. That’s when you know things are bad: When you’re attacking Fox News for being part of the liberal media.” – Jay Leno
“The Republican candidates were asked to name their favorite movies. Ron Paul picked ‘No Country for Old Men.’ Rick Perry chose ‘Clueless.’ Michele Bachmann chose ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,’ and Herman Cain chose ‘Snatch.'” – Jay Leno
“There are 249 millionaires in Congress. Remember a couple of years ago when this new Congress told us they had the solution to the recession? Apparently, they didn’t share it with the rest of us.” – Jay Leno
“Thank you, the TSA. For celebrating your 10th birthday this month, I got you a very special package, mine.” – Jimmy Fallon
