“Florida announced that they are moving their presidential primary to January, and it will be the first in the nation. If there’s one state that is known for organized, reliable voting …” – Craig Ferguson
“As governor of Texas, Rick Perry executed 236 people. Turns out many of them were guilty.” – David Letterman
“Mitt Romney speaks French and John Huntsman speaks Chinese. This is America, they need to speak Spanish.” – Jay Leno
“When Michele Bachmann heard they were bilingual, she said it’s OK, as long as they don’t get married.” – Jay Leno
“New Jersey Governor Chris Christie lost his laptop. In his lap.” – David Letterman
“A 6th grade student from Springfield, New Jersey, who asked Gov. Chris Christie for campaign advice, wound up losing his election for student council. Worse still, he asked President Obama for economic advice and he now owes his school $14 trillion.” – Jay Leno
“First Lady Michelle Obama was spotted shopping at Target yesterday. Yeah, she told the Secret Service to keep their eyes peeled – not for threats, just for a person that actually works at Target.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Police in Arkansas are looking for a man who breaks into homes and sucks the toes of sleeping women. They believe he’s either an escaped mental patient or a former President of the United States. [In Clinton voice] ‘Take off your slippers.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Saudi Arabia has given women the right to vote, but there’s a catch. The only form of ID accepted at the polling station: Driver’s licenses.” – Jay Leno
2 Comments
Is it my imagination, or did Jay Leno get a better joke writer? Some of his jokes this time are actually funny!
I think he just has an easier time making fun of people than policy. Maybe he got lazy when Bush was in office because he was an easy target. Obama’s just not as colorful of a person, so Leno has turned more towards jokes based on policy, which always seem to fall a little flat coming from him.