Political Irony

“A man jumped the White House fence, but after a brief chase, the Secret Service was able to talk President Obama into coming back and finishing his term.” – Conan O’Brien

“Happy birthday to President Obama, who is turning 50, although Republicans in Congress are demanding he cut his age to 40.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“President Obama celebrated his 50th birthday in Chicago. Obama cut the cake, then Republicans cut everything else.” – Jimmy Fallon

“President Obama celebrated his 50th birthday in his hometown of Chicago. Oprah jumped out of the cake. Then she jumped back in. She loves cake.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“While eating at a burger place, President Obama gave a free milkshake to an 11-year-old boy. Not to be nice, he just wanted to get rid of it because he saw Michelle coming.” – Jimmy Fallon

“President Obama signed the new debt bill into law. But it doesn’t really solve the problem. Economists say in 10 years, the deficit will be $27 trillion. But you know what? In 10 years, that’ll be President Bieber’s problem.” – Jay Leno

“Our prayers are answered! America’s own ‘Legion of Doofs.'” – Jon Stewart (on the new congressional Super Committee)

“According to a new poll, voters described the way Congress behaved during the debt debate as ‘disgusting, stupid, and ridiculous.’ They would have also accepted ‘gutless and cowardly.'” – David Letterman

“I see Congress more as a bunch of monkeys. High-fiving each other in celebration, having forgotten that mere moments ago they were throwing their own feces.” – (Daily Show correspondent) Jason Jones

“It’s interesting to see the Tea Party go from a small group of people that everyone thinks is crazy to a large group of people that everyone thinks is crazy.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Just 10 days until the big Iowa Republican presidential straw poll. How many think Mitt Romney will win the straw poll? How many think Michele Bachmann will win? How many would rather vote for the straw?” – Jay Leno

‎”I don’t believe in birth control. If you want to control your fertility, do it the way God intended: with a cold, loveless marriage.” – Stephen Colbert

“The Louvre has more bare breasts than any other institution in the world, with the possible exception of the Clinton Library.” – Craig Ferguson

“A lot of people want to know what Osama bin Laden’s last words were. In a new article, they tell you: ‘Come in.'” – David Letterman