“Donald Trump is so privileged that the first job he ever had to apply for was president of the United States.” — Stephen Colbert
“You don’t argue with a toddler if you want to win; don’t amplify the toddler’s voice, because you’ll just get trapped in the toddler’s world. Rather, just keep asking the toddler to elaborate, because logic is the downfall of every toddler.” — “Daily Show” host Trevor Noah on handling Donald Trump
“But, you know, Trump voters—really? Not even the guy who says he wants to fuck his daughter? This is not a deal-breaker for you? I mean, what does it take? A racist, a liar, a tax cheat, a draft-dodger, a deadbeat, a Russian agent, and a rapist. You know we’re a nuclear power, right? These are red flags.” — Bill Maher
“A 12-year-old boy is actually running one of Trump’s
campaign offices in Colorado. When asked how an inexperienced child could be running things, the boy said, ‘Look, he’s the nominee and we’re stuck with him.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“So enjoy your victory, Trump voters! Because when you’re dying because you don’t have health insurance to treat the infection you got from a back alley abortion you had to get because of fetal lead poisoning, you can say to yourself, ‘At least I didn’t vote for someone with a private email server.'” — Bill Maher
