Political Irony

[From Margaret and Helen. I admit it — I love them.]

Trump has skin thinner than his wife and an ego bigger than my ass.

Margaret, somebody called me an elitist because I think Trump and his supporters are morons. I wasn’t’ quite sure what being an elitist means these days and I am pretty sure most people using that as an insult probably don’t either so I looked it up. After all, I’m just a little ole’ gal born in Georgia and I am not sure I qualify to be an elitist.

Now the Oxford Dictionary says an elitist is someone who supports the view that a society or system should be led by an elite. Well that just begged the question: What is an elite? I got confused at first because evidently an Elite is a size of letter in typewriting, with 12 characters to an inch. Of course, for this particular scenario it also means a select group that is superior in terms of their ability or qualities to the rest of a group or society such as an elite athlete or an elite armed forces. My favorite definition of elite, however, is from Merriam-Webster: the choice part or the best of a class. So I guess I am an elitist after all, because I want the best candidate for the job and I know for damn sure I want an elite President and not this orange man-child who is about to take office.

And I am in good company. They said Meryl Streep was an elitist after her speech at the Golden Globes. You remember, don’t you? That moving speech she gave where she dared to say that we shouldn’t mock the disabled and a free press was vital to our democracy… What an elitist that Meryl is. How dare she make speeches about standing up for the disabled and defending the Constitution! Wait… what’s an elitist again?

You know Margaret, I was feeling lower than a snake’s belly in a ditch after a rain shower about this election. Kellyanne Conway is so good at lying… I mean telling us what is in Donald’s heart. And I thought to myself that maybe I should give the man a break. Maybe Trump deserves a second look. Maybe I should show some respect for the office to which he has been elected. But then I thought, nah he’s a moron and I’m an elitist who doesn’t think a society or a system should ever be led by a moron.

For goodness sakes, he’s not even trying to rise to the occasion. The man is tweeting about national intelligence agencies one minute and Saturday Night Live the next. And shockingly he is paying attention to the latter and ignoring the former. Damn right I’m an elitist because I actually do think society should be run by someone with superior abilities instead of an idiot who can’t prioritize security briefings over comedy sketches.

And he is surrounding himself with idiots too. Are you really telling me that of all the people he could have nominated for Attorney General, he didn’t know even one without racist attitudes? What does that say? Think about it. What does that say about this man? He appointed a known plagiarist to be a senior communications strategist. And then he asked Omarosa to be… actually I don’t know what he asked her to be. But Omarosa for anything? What does that say? And incoming Press Secretary Sean Spicer actually whined to the media, that Saturday Night Live wasn’t being funny, they were being “mean-spirited”. Oh Really? You know what’s mean-spirited, Sean? Mocking a disabled person. You know what else is mean-spirited? Laughing about sexually assaulting women. You know what else is mean-spirited? Suggesting most immigrants from Mexico are rapist and drug dealers. Also, mocking a disabled person. And yes. I know I said that already.

An elite athlete knows how to win a game. An elite army knows how to win a war. An elite President knows how to put down his smart phone and look the nation in the eye and apologize for his inappropriate behavior. Hell. You don’t even have to be elite. You just have to be decent. Decent enough to admit that it was wrong to make fun of the disabled. Admit that it was wrong to have disrespected and then denigrate women that way. Decent enough to tell the American people that you’re not perfect but you’ll strive to be a better president than you were a man. But we don’t have an elite as President-elect. We don’t even have a decent person about to hold the highest office in the land. We have a buffoon, man-child with skin thinner than that size 2 model/pin-up immigrant he’s married to. And even she doesn’t want to live in the same house with him.

Call me an elitist. It’s a badge I will wear proudly. I’d rather be an elitist than the racist, misogynist, mouth-breathers who voted for Trump. That’s right. I said it. I insulted Trump voters and I won’t apologize for it. We all knew what he did and what he said and what he stood for. There was no mistaking what you were voting for. I have no intentions of pulling punches. You people elected a moron and the rest of us “elitists” get to look down our noses and point our fingers and ask you to explain yourselves. Is it OK to make fun of the disabled? Yes or no? Is it OK to sexually assault women? Yes or no? Is it OK to commit fraud? Is it OK to discriminate against minorities? Is it OK to refer to your daughter as a nice piece of ass? Is it OK to vote for someone who did? If you answered yes to any of those questions, you can kiss my elitist ass.

Trump is not my president. I will challenge him at every turn. I will hold him accountable for every ignorant, vapid tweet. I will hold him to the very highest of standards and ridicule him when he comes up short. Why? You ask. How dare I? You say. Because he made fun of a disabled person and that’s all I ever needed to know about Donald J. Trump. I mean it. Really.