[Jokes from Nov. 16, 2016]
“President Obama was in Greece yesterday to meet with the Greek prime minister. Yep, Obama went to the birthplace of democracy to say, ‘Spoiler alert!'” – Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama was in Greece today and he visited the ancient Greek Acropolis. Obama said, ‘I wanted to get used to seeing a once-great democracy in ruins.'” – Conan O’Brien
“Obama began his final foreign trip in Athens, Greece, while back in the White House Joe Biden held his final toga party as vice president.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Vice President Joe Biden and Vice President-elect Mike Pence had lunch together this afternoon. And just to piss him off, Biden told the waiter it was their anniversary.” – Seth Meyers
“According to a new poll, almost 60 percent of Americans believe Donald Trump should compromise with Democrats. Like, instead of a wall at the Mexican border, maybe a beaded curtain?” – Seth Meyers
“Donald Trump said the transition is going well and he has spoken to ‘many foreign leaders’. Then someone had to explain to Trump that Barack Obama is not a ‘foreign leader’.” – Conan O’Brien
“President-elect Donald Trump is in the process of building his cabinet right now and it’s going to be a Solid Gold Cabinet full of all the finest snacks. This is kind of nutty. One of the names on Trump’s short list for attorney general is Senator Ted Cruz. Who, of course, was Trump’s bitter rival on the campaign trail. This is going to be like if Tupac hired Biggie to be his head of security.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Experts say one of the biggest threats facing Donald Trump’s presidency could be North Korea. Evidently, Kim Jong Un is so incompetent and unstable, they’re worried Trump will give him a cabinet post.” – Conan O’Brien
“One of Donald Trump’s potential attorneys general is reportedly already working on a plan to make Muslims register with the government. Does anyone see a problem with that, or do you ‘Nazi?'” – Seth Meyers
“Yesterday Donald Trump and Mike Pence reportedly received their first presidential daily briefing of sensitive national intelligence. Or as Trump asked Putin, ‘Do you prefer email or fax?'” – Jimmy Fallon
“The mayor of London said recently that if people based in the U.S. want to escape Donald Trump’s administration, quote, ‘London is open.’ Said Melania, ‘Taxi!'” – Seth Meyers
