Political Irony

[Jokes from Sept. 8, 2016]

“Last night was NBC’s Commander-in-Chief Forum where Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump gave live back-to-back interviews about national security, and the candidates decided who would go first with a coin toss. But there was an awkward moment when Trump saw the coin, grabbed it, and put it in his pocket. ‘So what? I didn’t see a coin, what coin, what are you talking about?'” – James Corden

“In all seriousness Donald Trump called heads, but just in case he lost he also called the whole thing rigged.” – James Corden

“Last night they held, like, an appetizer debate — an ‘amuse douche,’ if you will. It was called the Commander-in-Chief Forum. Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump answered questions about national security. It was the first time the two of them were in the same room since Trump’s wedding.” – Stephen Colbert

“It took place right here in New York on the aircraft carrier Intrepid. Once the two of them were on board, a lot of people were tempted to cut it loose and let it drift out to sea.” – Stephen Colbert

“Matt Lauer interviewed Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton back-to-back in front of a crowd of American veterans. The winner, the leader who came off strongest and best last night, was Vladimir Putin.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“The one guy Donald Trump has nothing bad to say about is Vladimir Putin. Maybe he is afraid Putin will cut off his supply of wives.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Donald Trump loves Vladimir Putin. After all is said and done, if he doesn’t become president, at the least, Donald Trump will have amazing sex with Vladimir Putin.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“The forum was hosted by ‘Today Show’ host Matt Lauer and a lot of people were very angry with his performance last night. Not Apple-losing-the-headphone-jack angry, but they were angry.” – James Corden

“Much of the criticism stemmed from Lauer not pressing Trump when he lied or didn’t answer questions. My question is, how did Matt Lauer even end up with this job? Was there a conversation at NBC like, ‘You know who would be great for the presidential forum?’ And they were like, ‘Oh, the guy on ‘The Today Show’ who excitedly announces they’re now making pumpkin spice marshmallows.'” – James Corden

“Republican vice presidential nominee Mike Pence broke with his running mate yesterday, saying that unlike Donald Trump, he does not doubt that President Obama was born in Hawaii. Though interestingly, Pence refused to respond when asked if it was true that he was born in Lego Land.” – Seth Meyers