[Political humor gleaned from the web]
It’s official, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump have both clinched the nomination for their respective parties. Which means we could be looking at our FIRST female President or our LAST U.S. President.
Hillary responded to her status as the presumptive nominee, calling it a “historic, unprecedented moment.” She looked so radiant making the speech, Bill forgot himself and hit on her.
Even though Hillary has more votes and delegates and super delegates and states, Bernie Sanders vowed to stay in the race and told supporters that the struggle continues. The struggle is to understand math.
Donald Trump claimed this week that Judge Gonzalo Curiel’s Mexican heritage makes him unfit to preside over a lawsuit against Trump University, despite the fact that Curiel was born and raised in Indiana. When Trump found that out, he said, “Oh, no, he’s an Indian, too?”
House Speaker Paul Ryan described Trump’s remarks about the Hispanic judge as a “textbook” definition of racism. Even worse, the textbook was made by Trump University.
Trump’s supporters were not fazed by Ryan’s remarks. They’ve never seen a textbook.
In a prepared speech, Trump told supporters he is going to take care of our African-American people. Though, I don’t think he should have added, “Once and for all.”
According to a new poll, Trump is at zero percent among African Americans. Here’s the sad part: That’s up 5 percent from last week.
After weeks of hesitation, Paul Ryan finally endorsed Trump for President. When asked what influenced his decision, Ryan said, “Xanax! Lots and lots of Xanax!”
Bernie Sanders and President Obama had a meeting at the White House, which was fitting since they have a lot in common. They are both beloved political figures who are just a few months away from NOT going to live there.
It’s being reported that Bernie Sanders is planning on cutting half of his campaign staff. Another indication that his run for President is in trouble, he changed his campaign 800 number to 911.
4 Comments
Please do not skip attribution. I appreciate you taking the time to select the good ones. But without attribution, it would be the P word.
I didn’t skip attribution. You must have missed the link at the top of the post.
Sorry. All from one source? I used to see these gag lines attributed to many different comedians.
At worst, the person I got these from failed to give any attribution. At best, they made them all up themselves.