[Jokes from May 10, 2016]
“In an upcoming interview with Fox News’ Megyn Kelly, Donald Trump tells her that although they’ve reconciled their feud, ‘this could happen again.’ Especially if Megyn Kelly continues to stubbornly insist on being a woman.” – Jimmy Fallon
“According to a new survey, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are tied in Florida. Hillary is winning with Jews and Hispanics, and Trump is winning with meth and bath-salt dealers.” – Conan O’Brien
“Donald Trump said that Hillary was nasty and mean to the women who slept with her husband. Trump’s wives did not treat his mistresses like that at all. They had the courtesy to let him marry them.” – Stephen Colbert
“Donald Trump has been married three times. Attacking Hillary Clinton for having marital problems is like the pot calling the kettle black, or in Trump’s case, calling the kettles ‘the blacks’. By the way, the kettles love him.” – Stephen Colbert
“Yesterday, the State Department said that it can’t find any emails belonging to Hillary Clinton’s senior technology staffer from when Clinton was secretary of state. Then Hillary said (WIPES OFF HANDS), ‘You also won’t find that staffer, either.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Apparently, Facebook censored popular stories about conservative topics from appearing on the trending news section. Folks, I think this is wrong. If Facebook is going to censor things, why not get rid of the stuff people really don’t want to see, like your ex’s tropical honeymoon? Or invitations to coworkers’ improv shows? ‘Mike, I’m glad you’re getting out after the divorce, but I’m not going out at midnight on a Tuesday to see your improvised episode of ‘Dawson’s Creek’.” – Stephen Colbert
