[Jokes from May 2, 2016]
“The White House Correspondents’ Dinner was on Saturday, and President Obama ended his speech by saying ‘Obama out’ and literally dropping the mic. Then Hillary Clinton caught the mic mid-air and said, ‘LET’S DO THIS!'” – Jimmy Fallon
“The White House Correspondents’ Dinner was this weekend. President Obama said it was fun. Larry Wilmore said he was honored. And Bernie Sanders said the portions were too small.” – Seth Meyers
“During an after-party following the Correspondents’ Dinner, a fight broke out between reporters at Fox News and The Huffington Post. But no major details came out about the fight – ‘cuz it was only witnessed by CNN reporters.” – Jimmy Fallon
“The White House announced yesterday that Malia Obama will attend Harvard University, but that she plans to take a year off before starting. Malia got the idea after seeing how much fun her dad is having with HIS year off.” – Jimmy Fallon
“As Bernie Sanders’ campaign is winding down, he had to fire hundreds of staff members. Now Bernie is down to a campaign director, a speechwriter, and a 22-year-old whose job is to keep explaining to him what Snapchat is.” – Conan O’Brien
“Donald Trump criticized Hillary Clinton today for making a remark he says is offensive to Native Americans. Trump’s exact words were ‘you stole my speech.'” – Conan O’Brien
“Indiana is holding its primary tomorrow, and Donald Trump is currently leading Ted Cruz by 15 points. While John Kasich still holds a narrow lead over ‘Not Sure’.” – Seth Meyers
“At a Ted Cruz rally, Carly Fiorina fell off the stage and Cruz didn’t help her up. The entire crowd immediately began chanting, ‘Metaphor! Metaphor!'” – Conan O’Brien
“At a Ted Cruz rally, a young boy yelled ‘you suck’ at Ted Cruz. In other words, there is hope for America’s future after all.” – Conan O’Brien
