“A protester had to be escorted out of a Donald Trump rally last night for yelling, ‘Trump’s a racist’. The protester was removed because the Trump campaign has that phrase copyrighted.” – Seth Meyers
“A new poll released today shows Donald Trump is leading the Republican field with 24 percent. How far are we going to let this go? It’s almost Thanksgiving. Trump is still leading. Next thing you know, he’s winning Iowa, then he takes New Hampshire, then he somehow actually becomes the Republican nominee. And before you know it, Hillary Clinton is president!” – Seth Meyers
“Bernie Sanders recently joined Snapchat. So in case you were wondering, you can get Snapchat on a rotary phone.” – Conan O’Brien
“In his recent interview with GQ, President Obama said that he’d like to own an NBA team after he leaves the White House. You’ll know it’s Obama’s team when it takes the players five years to pass something.” – Jimmy Fallon
“In a new interview, Tom Brady said he’ll never get into politics because, ‘Half the people are going to like you and half the people are not going to like you.’ Or, as that’s also known, SPORTS.” – Jimmy Fallon
