“A study found that one of the most popular searches during the debate was, ‘Is Bernie Sanders Jewish?’ While the most popular response on Google was, ‘Come on’.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Democratic presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders was on ‘Ellen’ today. A lot of people, myself included, said Bernie Sanders doesn’t have the style or the charisma to be president. But he came out dancing on ‘Ellen’. I think we owe him an apology.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“CNN’s Wolf Blitzer told Democratic presidential hopeful Lincoln Chafee yesterday that he is going to wind up looking silly if he stays in the race. And let’s face it, also if he doesn’t. Chafee then told Blitzer that he’ll remain in the race as long as he can continue to raise important issues. And you know he’s got a point. I mean, literally, he’s got one point.” – Seth Meyers
“Analysts are saying that Joe Biden was actually the biggest loser in the debate, and that he missed his chance to enter the race. Yeah, they said entering now would be awkward and inappropriate – or as Biden put it, ‘Those are my two middle names! I’m in!'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Now that the dust has settled from the Democratic debate, it looks like Hillary Clinton is going to remain the Democratic front-runner. And believe it or not over on the Republican side, Donald Trump is still in the lead. And now Trump is saying that he should be given Secret Service protection. As opposed to his current security: having Gary Busey follow him around with some nunchucks.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Donald Trump is reportedly threatening to pull out of the next GOP debate unless CNBC reinstates opening and closing statements. And Lincoln Chafee is threatening to pull out of the next Democratic debate if there are going to be questions.” – Seth Meyers
“Donald Trump’s son said in an interview last night that everything his dad has ever touched has turned to gold. Well, not everything. Jeb’s still waiting to turn to gold.” – Seth Meyers
“New research shows that China has a bigger middle class than America, and more people in China are living what we would call the ‘American Dream’. That’s when you know things are bad – when even the American DREAM is made in China.” – Jimmy Fallon
