“The State Department just released another batch of Hillary’s e-mails from when she was Secretary of State. In the e-mails, Hillary asked an aide what time ‘The Good Wife’ was on, how to charge her iPad, and how to get wi-fi. Hillary sounds less like the Secretary of State and more like my mom at a hotel.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Obama was in Alaska today to raise awareness on climate change and while he was there, he taped an episode of ‘Running Wild With Bear Grylls’ where celebrities eat mice and squirrels and drink bodily fluids. In this one, the president teaches us how to survive alone in the wilderness surrounded by 15 secret service agents disguised as trees.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“NBC just announced that President Obama will appear on an episode of ‘Running Wild With Bear Grylls’ later this year. Yeah, I guess the episode features Obama roughing it on a golf course that hasn’t been mowed for a couple of days.” – Jimmy Fallon
“A lot of people are upset that our president is appearing on a reality show. A little over a year from now, we might have a president who hosted a reality show. So get used to it… You know, Donald Trump?” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Donald Trump is facing criticism for refusing to name his favorite Bible verse. In Trump’s defense, it’s hard to be a fan of the Bible when three out of the seven deadly sins helped him get to where he is today. ‘Pride, greed and wrath have served me very well.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Trump was also asked if he preferred the New Testament or the Old Testament of the Bible and he responded, ‘Uh, probably equal.’ It’s a tough choice, because the Old Testament focuses on immigrants moving to a new country and the New Testament focuses on a guy who hates money.” – Jimmy Fallon
