“Bernie Sanders is polling at 44 percent among Democrats in New Hampshire and has passed Hillary Clinton as the Democratic front-runner. And in another new poll, zero percent of Hillary’s staffers wanted to be the one to bring her that news.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Bernie Sanders is now leading Hillary Clinton in New Hampshire. He’s seven points ahead. So forget those emails from when she was secretary of state. I want to see the emails Hillary sent out this morning.” – Conan O’Brien
“Bernie Sanders has now passed Hillary Clinton in the New Hampshire polls. It’s the first time anyone’s ever been passed by a guy in a Prius.” – Seth Meyers
“Officials investigating Hillary’s email scandal found that two of the four classified emails on her private account had information labeled ‘Top Secret’. That was pretty stupid. Everyone knows if you want to hide stuff on your computer, you put it in a folder labeled ‘Tax Stuff 2008’.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Donald Trump refuses to give details about his policy plans. Trump apologized by saying, ‘When I announced I was running for president, I had no idea people would take me seriously.'” – Conan O’Brien
“Things might be slowing down a bit for Donald Trump. He recently dropped nine points in some of the latest polls. When he heard that, Trump said, ‘Oh no. Was it everything I said?'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Donald Trump said in a new interview that he believes his performance in the polls shows that he has not crossed the line of appropriateness. You can read the entire interview in this month’s issue of Juggs magazine.” – Seth Meyers
“In a recent interview, Jeb Bush revealed that his brother George gave him the nickname ‘tortoise’ because he’s making slow, steady progress. Though I think the bigger story here is that compared to George, Jeb is the slow one.” – Jimmy Fallon
