“Donald Trump’s not backing down. Yesterday he said he doesn’t need to be lectured by the other Republican candidates, who he says have no business running for president. Not to be confused with Donald Trump, who ran for president and now has no business.” – Jimmy Fallon
“In a speech in South Carolina, Donald Trump responded to criticisms from Senator Lindsey Graham by giving out Graham’s personal cellphone number. Graham knew something was up when he saw he had more than one missed call.” – Jimmy Fallon
“At a campaign event today, Donald Trump read Senator Lindsey Graham’s cellphone number aloud on live TV. It’s the craziest thing Trump has done since whatever he did right before that.” – Seth Meyers
“At a campaign event in South Carolina, Trump gave out Senator Lindsey Graham’s personal cellphone number. He’s bringing the same level of class to this presidential election that one does to a stall in a public restroom.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“I’ve never seen anything like this. Giving phone numbers out, it’s like Trump’s running for president of a sorority or something.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Republican hopeful Rick Perry this week compared Donald Trump to cancer. Which really isn’t fair, because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.” – Seth Meyers
“A new Washington Post/ABC poll shows Donald Trump leading the pack of Republican presidential contenders. They must be polling the same people who voted for Sanjaya on ‘American Idol’.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“In a new campaign ad, Jeb Bush referenced ‘The Godfather’ and said his nickname used to be ‘Veto Corleone’ because he vetoed so many bills in Florida. When you’re the third person in your family to run for president, maybe you shouldn’t bring up a movie trilogy where the third one was clearly the worst.” – Jimmy Fallon
“The White House is making a special Twitter account to answer questions about the new nuclear agreement. Finally using Twitter for what it was designed for — explaining complex, international nuclear agreements involving several nations.” – Seth Meyers
“Republicans in Congress are getting concerned that President Obama will try to use the final year of his term to push through too many controversial laws. Obama would’ve responded but he was busy drafting his new ‘mandatory Mexican gay weed’ bill.” – Jimmy Fallon
