Political Irony

“During a recent interview, President Obama revealed that he doesn’t always get enough sleep. And I think I speak for everyone when I say, ‘Good! We pay you to worry about stuff so WE can sleep. That’s why you are the president.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“President Obama admitted that he doesn’t get enough sleep. But doctors said he should find little tricks to doze off, like counting intruders jumping over the White House fence.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Former president George W. Bush will be in Dallas this week raising money for his brother Jeb’s presidential run. He plans to raise the money by campaigning for Ted Cruz.” – Seth Meyers

“Tea party candidate Ted Cruz, Republican senator from Texas, wants to be president. That means he’s one step closer to being a Fox News analyst.” – David Letterman

“Tea party candidate Ted Cruz announced he’s running for president. He says he wants to abolish the IRS. So today Cruz was endorsed by Nicolas Cage, Wesley Snipes, and Willie Nelson.” – Conan O’Brien

“Republican Congressman Peter King called Ted Cruz a carnival barker. That is such an insult to carnival barkers. ” – David Letterman

“Ted Cruz says he used to like rock music but after 9/11, he prefers country. Upon hearing this, al-Qaida said, ‘That was the plan.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Ted Cruz is the first official candidate for the 2016 presidential election. As history has shown, the first declared candidate always goes on to win the election — except in 2012, 2008, 2004, 2000, 1996, 1992, 1988, 1984, 1980, 1976, 1972, 1968, 1964, 1960, 1956…” – David Letterman

“Ted Cruz said today that if elected president, he’ll tell the truth and do what he said he’d do. And guys, I know we’ve been burned 44 times on this, but I have a good feeling about this guy.” – Seth Meyers

“President Obama and Hillary Clinton had lunch today. Of course, Hillary had a private server.” – David Letterman