Political Irony

“Texas Senator Ted Cruz officially announced that he’s running for president. Cruz said that after doing exhaustive research to see if he had a real chance to win, he said, ‘I’m gonna run anyway.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Texas senator and tea party favorite Ted Cruz announced he’s running for president. He pledged to lead America boldly forward into the 1950s.” – Conan O’Brien

“Senator Ted Cruz has officially announced that he is running for president. But if you see a T-shirt that says ‘Ted Cruz 2016’, those aren’t election shirts. That’s just how old he thinks the Earth is.” – Seth Meyers

“Republican Ted Cruz announced that he will run for president in 2016. So finally, Carnival is no longer the most dangerous cruise in America.” – Jimmy Fallon

“The first known candidate to enter the presidential race in 2016 is Texas Senator Ted Cruz. Announcing your candidacy before everyone else does is kind of like being the first celebrity to show up on the red carpet at the Oscars. It’s not a great thing.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Ted Cruz released a presidential campaign video in Spanish. Cruz explained, “It’s important for me to reach out to the people I’m trying to deport.” – Conan O’Brien

“Texas Senator Ted Cruz announced he is running for president. Ted Cruz was born in Canada, his father fled to the United States from Cuba, and yet Ted Cruz is against immigration. Isn’t that odd?” – David Letterman

“People are questioning if Ted Cruz can legally run for president because he was born in Canada. And the last thing we want to do is pave the way for a President Bieber.” – Conan O’Brien

“Ted Cruz could be president of the United States. If you thought the Secret Service was drinking before…” – David Letterman

“According to a new poll, exactly 50 percent of Americans view President Obama’s presidency as a success. While the other half of Americans are actually candidates for the Republican presidential nomination.” – Jimmy Fallon

“While he was discussing U.S.–Israeli relations yesterday, John McCain told Obama to quote, ‘Get over your temper tantrum, Mr. President.’ I didn’t even know Obama could get mad.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Chelsea Clinton is here tonight. Chelsea’s here to promote the “Serve a Year” campaign. A lot of celebrities do this. They serve a year, sometimes less with good behavior.” – Jimmy Kimmel