“Veterans Affairs Secretary Robert McDonald got in some hot water this week for saying that he served in the military’s Special Forces when he never did. It gets even worse when you find out the place he actually served was Old Navy.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Some people are saying Bill O’Reilly exaggerated his war experience in the 1980s. People became suspicious because O’Reilly said he was injured in the East Coast/West Coast rap wars.” – Conan O’Brien
“President Obama vetoed the Keystone pipeline yesterday. Everyone expected him to do that, but Republicans say he vetoed the bill only because their party was in favor of it, while Obama said, ‘That’s what you guys have been doing for how many years?'” – Jimmy Fallon
“John Boehner said yesterday that President Obama’s veto of the Keystone XL pipeline was a ‘national embarrassment.’ And then, out of habit, Joe Biden said, ‘Here!'” – Seth Meyers
“According to a new poll, the value of baby teeth is skyrocketing, up 25 percent from last year. In the U.S., the tooth fairy left a total of $255 million last year. The Vikings believed that children’s teeth had magic powers that would help them fight in battles. This explains why there are no more Vikings.” – Jimmy Kimmel
