“President Obama played his 200th round of golf yesterday. Then Democrats said, ‘You know what? He can do whatever he wants as long as he’s not trying to campaign for us.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Last week was the big fundraiser for President Obama hosted by Gwyneth Paltrow. It was hosted at her house. And people say Obama never reaches out to the inner city.” – Craig Ferguson
“A fundraiser at Gwyneth Paltrow’s house was a good idea for the president. He found the one person in America with lower approval ratings than his.” – Craig Ferguson
“Gwyneth Paltrow told the president he was so handsome that she couldn’t speak properly. I wish Obama would get a little bit more handsome so she would shut up forever.” – Craig Ferguson
“Gwyneth Paltrow’s neighbors were very upset because they didn’t know about the fundraiser beforehand. Wow, that’s the first time the Secret Service managed to keep a secret. Take that, people who can have me killed!” – Craig Ferguson
“President Obama was in California over the weekend to attend a fundraiser hosted by the creator of ‘Farmville’. Obama and the creator of ‘Farmville’ have a lot in common. They both really wish it was still 2009.” – Jimmy Fallon
“A lot of people have a three-day weekend because of Columbus Day. In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue and 522 years later a lot of people still get Monday off to celebrate. No one’s received more credit for getting lost than Christopher Columbus in the history of mankind.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“As the story goes, Columbus was aiming for India, wound up in the Caribbean, and Americans have been terrible at geography ever since.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Last week North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un missed a ceremony marking the 69th anniversary of the country. Experts say it’s especially strange because he knew cake would be there.” – Seth Meyers
“Nobody knows where he is but the U.S. national security adviser says there is no evidence that Kim Jong Un has been overthrown. If anything, he was probably just tipped over.” – Seth Meyers
“Vladimir Putin was nominated but did not win the Nobel Peace Prize. Earlier today he said, ‘Who do I have to kill to win a Nobel Peace Prize?'” – David Letterman
2 Comments
i like this one Nobody knows where he is but the U.S. national security adviser says there is no evidence that Kim Jong Un has been overthrown. If anything, he was probably just tipped over.” – Seth Meyers
Good article. I am experiencing some of these iissues as well..