Political Irony

“The Department of Defense unveiled a new policy that will let undocumented immigrants serve in the military. Is it me, or does that just sound like a sneaky way to get rid of immigrants?” – Jimmy Fallon

“Attorney General Eric Holder announced today that he is resigning after five years with the administration. Obama said, ‘Wait, you can do that?'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Attorney General Eric Holder said today that he will resign after five years in office. When he heard about this, President Obama said, ‘Oh, he’s my ride. I gotta go.'” – Seth Meyers

“They’ve had security problems at the White House. Last weekend a couple of guys hopped the fence and ran in. One guy got all the way in and made himself a sandwich.” – David Letterman

“White House security problems won’t happen anymore. They’ve decided that at night — it doesn’t make any difference what’s going on – they’re locking that front door.” – David Letterman

“Security is so tight now that they’ve asked members of Congress to circle the White House – because that way nothing will get past.” – David Letterman

“Political reporters are complaining that the White House has been asking them to edit some of their stories to make the president look better. The White House said that’s not true, and those reporters should please change what they said.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Today Russia announced that it will join America’s fight with the terror group ISIS. Then Putin said, ‘But I did not say which side.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Bill Clinton said that riding wild horses in Mongolia and climbing Mount Kilimanjaro are on his bucket list. When asked what was on her bucket list, Hillary said, ‘Come on. Don’t make me say it. You know what it is.'” – Jimmy Fallon