“U.S. intelligence now says that the Malaysian flight was definitely taken down by Russian separatists. But those Russians, they stick with that Soviet propaganda shit. Putin said today ‘no, it’s because one of the passengers turned on their cell phones. Either that or Pussy Riot shot it down.'” – Bill Maher
“There’s a twelve hour cease fire in the Middle East; otherwise known as reloading.” – Bill Maher
“The Palestinian leaders have called for a Day of Rage. In Los Angeles we also have a day of rage; that is when you’re trying to drive when Obama is in town.” – Bill Maher
“But you know what? Hollywood liberals, they are still crazy in love with him. Even when his motorcade turns the freeway into a parking lot, they’re like, ‘That was the most inspirational traffic jam ever. The way all the cars came together…'” – Bill Maher
“They are really debating the firing squad right now. Of course there are a lot of people on the other side who say this is cruel and unusual. Cruel and unusual? This is America. What’s more usual than getting shot?” –Bill Maher (on the debate over the death penalty and botched executions)
