Political Irony

“This morning the Pentagon announced that the United States has captured a leader responsible for the Benghazi attacks. Republicans were ecstatic and said, ‘So, they finally got Hillary?'” – Conan O’Brien

“President Obama is sending a couple hundred troops to Iraq. We spent six years trying to figure a way to get out of Iraq. And now we’re back. But this time there is an exit strategy. Barack Obama has an exit strategy. In 2016, he’s gone.” – David Letterman

“Now, the way I hear it the Iraqi army had some trouble with the insurgents and they just dropped their guns, took off their uniforms, and went home — just like the Miami Heat.” – David Letterman

“Yesterday, the Iranian president tweeted a picture of himself all alone watching a World Cup game on television. Yeah, then he watched his favorite show — ‘It’s Always Sunni in Philadelphia.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Soccer is one of those things that the rest of the world cares more about than we do – you know, like healthcare, education, gun control.” – David Letterman

“Protesters at the World Cup got into trouble for burning American flags. It’s a shame because children in China worked very hard to make those flags.” – Conan O’Brien

“If you love soccer, you have to wait four years for a World Cup. It’s like making an appointment with a VA doctor.” – David Letterman

“Today at the World Cup, Mexico and Brazil ended in a 0-0 tie. Fun fact: Both teams were ordered by their coaches to abstain from sex. In other words, these guys can’t score on or off the field.” – Conan O’Brien

“In a new interview, Hillary Clinton said the Bible is the most influential book she’s ever read. Some people think she might be pandering to Southern Christian voters. Then Hillary said, ‘Oh come on y’all — little ol’ me?'” – Jimmy Fallon