“President Obama went for a walk and went to a Starbucks. If this guy can afford coffee at Starbucks, the economy must be improving.” – David Letterman
“President Obama surprised tourists by walking to a Starbucks near the White House. Even more surprising, he traded five Taliban members for a grande soy latte.” – Seth Meyers
“The president was sitting there having his coffee with his laptop open, arranging another deal for Taliban prisoners.” – David Letterman
“President Obama had a cup of his favorite coffee – the Kenyan Socialist.” – David Letterman
“President Obama’s daughter Sasha turned 13 years old today. That means that now he has two teenage girls. But thanks to Congress, he’s used to people ignoring him.” – Jimmy Fallon
“In her new memoir, Hillary Clinton said the Obama campaign wanted her to attack Sarah Plain. So did her husband Bill, but only because he loves a good cat fight.” – Conan O’Brien
“Lawmakers in Jamaica are now considering a bill that would legalize marijuana. Let me repeat myself: Lawmakers in Jamaica are considering a bill to legalize marijuana. In related news, lawmakers in Italy are considering a bill to legalize spaghetti, and lawmakers in Ireland are considering a bill to legalize whiskey.” – Jimmy Fallon
