“We bring back a POW, Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, from Afghanistan and to get him back we traded five Taliban thugs. And now everybody’s gone crazy. People say it’s the most controversial trade that has taken place since NBC traded me here to CBS.” – David Letterman
“These guys were down in Gitmo and now they get freed after 10 or 15 years. So now they’re released and they get to fly home. And I’m thinking, if you go to the airport and you’re stuck behind these guys in security, good luck.” – David Letterman
“When they sent the Taliban thugs back to Qatar, they got picked up in a stretch camel.” – David Letterman
“French President Francois Hollande will host two dinners tomorrow night, the first one for President Obama, followed by one for Vladimir Putin. Hollande was pretty worried about keeping them separate. Then his girlfriend and his mistress said, ‘You’ll figure it out.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“A Republican candidate for Congress in Arizona, who is white, recently changed his name to Cesar Chavez to appeal to Latino voters. It backfired when Arizona’s governor immediately deported him.” – Jimmy Fallon
