“Tomorrow night, reporters and celebrities will attend the White House Correspondents Dinner. Of course, it’ll be awkward when the reporters from CNN just spend all night trying to find their table.” – Jimmy Fallon
“The White House Correspondents’ Dinner is strange. The E! channel actually live-streams the red carpet. ‘Oooh, I hope the secretary of agriculture, Tom Vilsack, is wearing Valentino.'” – Craig Ferguson
“The political scene in Washington one of few places I’ve seen that’s more grasping and desperate than show business. Hollywood and politics are very different, of course. One puts out big-budget crap filled with explosions. And the other one is Hollywood.” – Craig Ferguson
“After taking a leave of absence, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is apparently going to rehab in Chicago. That’s right, he’s headed to the Second City. As in, ‘the second city where he’ll be caught with crack.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Now Rob Ford is going to rehab. He didn’t necessarily want to go to rehab but he has to go to rehab because he promised he would go to rehab. It’s like a George Clooney engagement.” – David Letterman
“Lawmakers in Illinois have started a new push to legalize recreational marijuana in the state. Rob Ford said, ‘Looks like I got here just in time!'” – Jimmy Fallon
