“Absolutely nothing new has happened with the missing plane. It is astounding how they continue to report ‘news’ even though they have zero information; although, it never stopped Fox News.” – Bill Maher
“Fox News, they may be a little biased, we had an earthquake here on Monday and they reported that the Earth’s crust was emboldened by Obama’s weakness.” – Bill Maher
“First lady Michelle Obama and her daughters Sasha and Malia are visiting China for the next week and the president said the White House feels very lonely without them. Then he said, looking around, ‘OK, I think they bought it. Time for some March Madness, baby. Let’s do it!'” – Jimmy Fallon
“This morning Toronto Mayor Rob Ford tackled a journalist on his way into City Hall. The craziest part of that story is that Rob Ford is still going to City Hall.” – Seth Meyers
“This week scientists revealed that a massive solar blast narrowly missed the Earth back in 2012. Or as the Mayans put it, ‘Almost told you so.'” – Jimmy Fallon
