“This winter storm has left thousands without electricity. It’s as if President Obama had taken over the power companies.” – Jay Leno
“Last week a man was locked in an airplane for several hours after he fell asleep during a flight and nobody woke up him up when it landed. But other than that, Joe Biden had a great trip to Asia.” – Jimmy Fallon
“New Jersey legislators want to ban eating while driving. Good luck getting Governor Chris Christie to sign that one.” – Jay Leno
“The post office announced that since they have lost so much money they are going to be reviewing their business model. That could mean big changes. The last time the post office reviewed their business model they sold the ponies and bought trucks.” – Jay Leno
“North Korea has confirmed that Kim Jong Un has fired his uncle. Unemployment benefits in North Korea include two weeks’ severance and not being shot.” – Conan O’Brien [ironically, after Conan made this comment, the uncle was executed]
