“President Obama’s Facebook account was hacked. It was hacked by the Syrian Electronic Army. When Obama found out about this, he said, ‘Can you guys fix the Obamacare website?'” – David Letterman
“There was some good news today for embattled Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius. Obamacare will cover all her injuries after the White House throws her under the bus. She is totally covered.” – Jay Leno
“Obama is also being criticized for the Obamacare website. You know what’s wrong with that website? A lot of the people trying to sign up for Obamacare are elderly. So you’ve already lost them at ‘website’.” – Craig Ferguson
“Have you tried to get on the Obamacare website? Oh, it is slow! It is so slow that by the time you sign up for Obamacare you’ll be eligible for Medicare. It’s slower than a ticket scalper at a Jacksonville Jaguars game.” – Jay Leno
“We are posting online many of our rare or never-before-seen clips from the show’s past 20 years. You can see them online but if you really want a laugh, go to HealthCare.gov. That’s where the good chuckles are.” – Conan O’Brien
“For years President Obama has been saying that no one would lose their healthcare plan. Now the White House has admitted that in fact many people will lose their plans. But there is a way to keep the great coverage you have. Just become a member of Congress. Then the taxpayers pay for the whole thing.” – Jay Leno
“President Obama is still in trouble for this spying stuff. You can tell he is getting tired of talking about this scandal. Today he said, ‘Anyone want to talk about my birth certificate?'” – Craig Ferguson
