Political Irony

“People have been speculating lately about what President Obama will do when he leaves office in 2016. The one thing I think we can safely rule out – website designer.” – Jay Leno

“There’s been a lot of speculation but now it’s clear that Joe Biden will run for president in 2016. In an effort to appear presidential, today Biden launched a website that doesn’t work.” – Conan O’Brien

“Some marketing experts are comparing the Obamacare website rollout to a Ford Edsel filled with New Coke. But they are making progress. They said today that if you find yourself getting too frustrated trying to log on, they’ve added a link to a suicide hot line.” – Jay Leno

“One of the contractors who built the Obamacare website testified before Congress today. You can tell he built the site because any time they would ask a question, he would freeze.” – Conan O’Brien

“What the president should do is put the NSA in charge of the website. That way there’s nothing to fill out. They already have all our information. You just put your name in.” – Jay Leno

“German Chancellor Angela Merkel said the U.S. would have to regain her trust after the NSA eavesdropped on her cellphone. You know things are bad when we’re being accused of having boundary issues by Germany.” – Conan O’Brien

“Saudi Arabia is now threatening to sever diplomatic ties with the United States over Syria. I hope that doesn’t cause them to do something drastic, you know, like overcharge us for oil.” – Jay Leno

“Yesterday Pakistan’s Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif was in the Oval Office to meet with Obama and Joe Biden. Obama said, ‘It’s an honor to have you here,’ while Biden said, ‘Hello, I’m not supposed to talk’.” – Jimmy Fallon

“A new survey found that 25 percent of Americans will spend less on Halloween this year because of the government shutdown’s effect on the economy. Which explains that new party game – ‘Bobbing for Ramen Noodles’.” – Jimmy Fallon