“But it’s not all bad news for the former San Diego mayor. Today Bob Filner was offered a new job as a TSA agent at the airport. So, you fly often, do you?” – Jay Leno
“Eighteen women are accusing Bob Filner of sexual assault. He even groped a great grandmother. Isn’t that awful? Even great grandfathers don’t do that.” – Jay Leno
“New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner got in a car wreck over the weekend – not to be confused with his campaign. That’s a train wreck. And today he tweeted the insurance company the wrong photo.” – David Letterman
“So New York City comptroller candidate Eliot Spitzer says if he wins, he will work for only $1 a year. Which is pretty smart, because at that rate, he won’t be able to afford another $5,000 an hour hooker until the year 7013.” – Jay Leno
“Donald Trump and Trump University have been sued by the New York attorney general for running an unlicensed university. They said ‘It’s illegal. Your university is just like that thing on your head. They’re both unlicensed.'” – David Letterman
“Do you think Donald Trump’s own kids went to Trump University? No! His kids went to that fly-by-night diploma mill, the Wharton School of Business.” – David Letterman
